One Summer with the Sinner

VANE JASON

Madrid, Spain

"The media is speculating that you are cheating on your soon-to-be wife! Qué chingados? People will have to be crazy to believe that!" My manager looked annoyed as hell as she paced back and forth inside her office, while I was sitting calmly on the chair in front of her desk looking as unbothered as I can be.

According to the telecast earlier, I was seen in a party with Rosalina, the leading lady on the latest movie I have been working on. Photographs of the two of us were circulating over the internet and people assumed that I was seeing her behind my fiancée's back. To state the obvious, Rosalina is gorgeous and has a body to die for. The thing is, she is secretly married to one of the camera men on set, Diego.

I don't have any romantic ties with her, and I have no plans of going between her and her husband.

"How absurd!" my manger hissed exasperatedly.

"Luciana, calm down. I can do a press conference to clear things up." Her movements are making me dizzy, so I grabbed her arm to keep her in place. She has been in the industry long enough to know that rumors are part of show business. I don't understand why she seems so rattled right now.

"I don't think that's the best option, Vane. Some people will believe whatever news comes their way, with or without solid proof. I think you have to lie low for a little while. A press conference while the rumors are still fresh will only add fuel to the fire."

"Disculpe! Puede repetirlo?"

"I said you have to lie low. Let it die on its own." She finally eased herself on the leather chair and reclined. Taking a deep breath, she folded her arms across her chest. The stress became more visible in the way she heaved a sigh. But even with that, Luciana still glows with grace at fifty.

"People will think that I'm guilty."

"Let them think what they want to think for now. We can clear your name once the issue has died down. We don't want to make any rash actions here."

"Alright."

"The media has been targeting you ever since you released that statement against Lucio. Let us not fall right into their trap."

My temper ricocheted the moment I heard the name. Lucio Mercado is a famous reporter who loves to do unnecessary digging on the lives of celebrities. Most of the time, the information he gets are not accurate and it makes me question why the general public still believes in his shit.

A month ago, he reported that I was a product of a broken family. That part is true. What I didn't like was when he further stated that my parents had broken up because my father was a gambler and my mother could no longer contain the debauchery.

Truth is that they broke up because they fell out of love and my father later on discovered, or finally admitted, that he is gay. They talked to me about it and never made me feel excluded. Even when I was still young and can't fully comprehend the complexity of genders, I understood that regardless whatever he associates himself as, he is still my father. And deep down I know that he would still love me all the same.

Three years after the divorce, he was diagnosed with stage three colon cancer. My mother and I, who were already residing in London that time, quickly flew back to Manila to take care of him. Four months and two failed operations later, he passed away while holding my grandmother's hand.

On the day of his burial, I stared at all the faces in the crowd, knowing full well that in the next couple of days, they will no longer be sad over his passing. Bitterness filled me because unlike them, I would have to live with the heaviness for a very long time.

I remember how my grandmother handed me a handkerchief and told me it's okay to cry.

I refused, because I did not want to shed any tears.

My loss is heaven's gain.

He is a fine man, and I know he is already happy up there.

"Vane." Luciana's voice pulled me out of my memories. I'm thankful. "You're zoning out."

"I'm sorry. You were saying?"

"I was saying that your schedule for the entire summer is clear since you told me you need time to help with the wedding preparations."

"Yes." I sighed. A lot of things are going on inside my mind right now. The wedding. The turning over of my mother's company. The crazy news about me being a cheater.

I went over a difficult decision inside my head and after a few minutes of silence, I raised my head and looked at Luciana. "I'd like to fly out of Madrid for the meantime. I need a breather."

"Are you going to the United Kingdom to visit your Mama?"

I shook my head. I don't want to see my mother just yet. I do adore her, but sometimes, she can get too overbearing. It was her idea to have me marry her trusted friend's only daughter, Kate. She said I wasn't getting any younger and that she's sick and tired of hearing rumors about me dating different women every now and then, so she decided to take matters into her own hands.

I never would have agreed to if only our travel company's fate did not depend on that particular decision. My mother was crazy enough to offer me a deal I have no way of escaping.

Ever since I was a kid, I already know that I will be seated as the company's CEO one day. And here she is, jeopardizing that mindset with her threats of selling off her share if I don't agree to be wed.

Alas, a man has to do what he has to do.

"Your mind wanders off really far these days." For the second time, Luciana reeled me back to reality. A sudden shake of my head was all it took to get some clarity.

"I'm not going to London. I'm going back home to the Philippines. I need to spend some time with my abuela in the hacienda."

"Alright. I expect your communication lines to be open at all times."

"Si. Claro, Luciana."

The last time I've been to the Philippines was eight years ago. After my father's burial, I never came back. His memories would always be there to haunt me. But now, I am taking this leap. It is just right that I pay his hometown a visit before I finally tie the knot.

My abuela will be so pleased to see her favorite, and only, apo back in our villa in Bicol.

"Buen viaje, Vane. Cuídate, hasta pronto."

***

"Kate, it's not like I'm going to stay in the Philippines forever. It's just a short summer vacation."

"Bloody hell, Vane! Our wedding is four months away and here you are, telling me you are going on a trip for two months, in an entirely different continent." Her frustrated British accent was so thick that I can feel how anxious she was even when I can't see her.

"Two months is like a blink of an eye."

"What about the preparations? Ako na lang ba ang laging mag-aasikaso ng lahat?" She slipped on our local language to stress out her annoyance even more.

"Babawi ako when I get back. Marami lang akong iniisip ngayon and I need to clear my mind. After two months, I'll go back to Madrid to do some final shoots and commercials, and then I'm off to fly to London so I can personally help out." Ibinagsak ko ang pagod kong katawan sa kama at ipinikit ang mga mata. Alam kong kaya lang naman din siya pumayag sa set up na ito ay para mas mapalago ang kumpanya nila. After the marriage, there will be a merger. The wedding will serve as the blood compact at kami ang dalawang biktima nito.

"You are pissing me off so much," she said. "I mean it."

"It's the first time I will be having a vacation in a long time due to my busy schedule. Can you cut me some slack? After all the stress I've been through, don't you think I deserve it?"

"Fine! After your summer trip and those shoots you mentioned, I want no delays. You're flying to Britain to assist with the arrangements, because I am not here to do all the work. I'm not having any more of your ridiculous display of defiance, Vane."

"Alright."

The call dropped and I set the phone down. I let out a tired sigh before I closed my eyes.

My fate has been sealed.

***

ALEXIANA CALLISTO

Camarines Norte, Philippines

"Asheng! Aba'y maligayang pagbabalik sa'yo, anak! Lalo kang gumanda at kamukhang kamukha mo talaga ang ama mo." Mang Toto, my dad's favorite drinking buddy here in Bicol, waved his hand in my direction. His white shirt was smeared with dirt from chopping the logs he will be using for cooking on their makeshift stove. Delighted to see him, I waved back and offered a timid smile.

"Kamusta na si Pareng Aaron? Ang tagal na nilang hindi umuuwi," dagdag pa nito. "Mukhang busy pa rin sila ni Cassidy sa negosyo hanggang ngayon."

"Hindi na ho masyado. Wala lang po sila ngayon sa Manila kasi nagseselebra ng anniversary. Sa susunod na linggo pa ho ang balik nila. Ikaw, Mang Toto, parang hindi ka tumatanda. Mukhang malakas pa kayo. Kumusta ho?"

"Ay, ako talaga ay malakas pa. Nangingisda pa nga ako sa edad na 'to. Hayaan mo at bibigyan kita mamaya ng ulam! Paborito mo 'di ba ang bangus?"

"Oho! Tamang tam apala ang uwi ko, Mang Toto!"

"Iniihaw pa ng asawa ko. Ipapadala ko kay Rene sa bahay niyo mamaya. Siya ng apala, si Aldeng ba ay kumusta na? Bakit hindi mo yata kasama sa pag-uwi? Noong mga bata pa kayo ay halos hindi kayo mapaghiwalay ng mga magulang niyo."

Alexander, or better known by the locals as Aldeng, is my twin brother. People would always tell us how inseparable we had been when we were young. When we grew up, we started developing our sense of individuality, but even then, we still share a bond that none of our other siblings can relate to.

Mang Toto wiped the sweat off his brow with his thumb, a mannerism he has always had.

"Punong-abala ho 'yon sa pagpapatakbo ng kumpanya. Ipinasa na kasi sa kan'ya ni Dad two years ago. Napakaworkaholic nga ho, akala mo ay gusto nang pakasalan ang trabaho," biro ko.

Alexander is my father's successor. When my Dad retired early, it was him who inherited the family business. As the current President and Chairman of Monteverde Group of Companies, he has developed a deeper sense of responsibility. I understand it also comes with great pressure because it means he has to step out of my father's shadow and live up to the employees' expectations. That is why he is usually silent and reserved. A tough cookie to crack, as people like to describe.

Even though we share the same features, we are complete opposites of each other. While he was confident, I am shy. He kept mostly to himself, I like having conversations with people. He is comfortable with the noise being a Monteverde comes with, while I just want to fade into the background.

Other than him, I have two other siblings.

Zade, my younger brother, is the most studious. He likes history and literature and spends most of his time reading books. Whereas Daze, the youngest, is the most impetuous. She likes defying the rules, a trait she probably got from my mother. Beneath all the toughness, though, she has a heart of gold.

"O, siya, babalik na ako sa ginagawa ko. Enjoy ka rito." Napaigtad ako sa boses ni Mang Toto.

"Sige ho. Salamat."

"Kapag may kailangan ka, ikatok mo lang sa bahay namin." Tinanguan n'ya ako bago tumalikod at bumalik sa pagsisibak ng kahoy.

Nginitian ko naman ang iba pang mga kumakaway na kapit-bahay bago nagpatuloy sa paglalakad papunta sa bahay namin.

The house is still in pristine condition despite having stood for eighteen years. The familiar peach paint gave me a feeling of serenity. I remember how Daze threw a tantrum when she found out the color of the house is supposed to be gray. To appease her, my Dad asked her what color she wanted and here it is. Most of my summers have been spent in this house, playing with the kids who lived close by.

Seeing it again after a few years of not being able to come home is bringing me a weird sense of comfort and happiness.

The three-story rest house has eight rooms in total. One master's bedroom, four bedrooms for my siblings and I, one chambermaid's quarter, and two guest rooms.

When we were kids, Alexander and I never really slept in our rooms. We would lie on the cold terrace floor and talk about what our life would turn out to be a few years later.

He said he wanted to be a pianist.

I told him I wanted to just live a simple life.

Year later, he is now MGC's President and chairman of the board.

I became the owner of my mother's bakeshops.

He is not a pianist, and I am still living in the limelight that I never wanted to be in.

"Asheng!"

A loud squeal from a familiar voice caught my attention. I blinked several times and saw that the front door is now open, and standing in front of it, was someone I have been dying to see for a long while now. I rushed forward and gave her a tight embrace, in hopes to compensate for all the months that have gone by. She still smelled of baby powder and cologne.

Nostalgia hit me so had.

"Ikaw na bata ka, hindi ako makahinga!" saad niya bago tinapik ang balikat ko.

"Tu me manques, Manang Soling."

Simula pagkabata ng aking nanay ay siya na ang nag-alaga rito. Kaya naman nang isilang kami ng kakambal ko ay siya rin ang nag-aalaga sa amin kapag busy ang mga magulang namin sa trabaho.

"Ilang taon na tayong wala sa Pransya kaya Tagalugin mo na lang ako, Alexiana. Kulang na sa praktis ang iyong Nana. Pero namiss din kita. Vous etes belle, mi amour."

My twin brother and I were born in Paris where we stayed for five years. After that, we flew back to Manila to meet my father for the first time. What was supposed to be a short vacation turned out to be something permanent. My parents got back together, and we transferred permanently to the Philippines. Occasionally, we still visit France every two years.

"Namiss kita," ulit ko na Tagalog na sa pagkakataong ito. "Sobra."

"Isang taon lang tayong hindi nagkita pero parang lalo kang gumanda." Masuyo niyang hinaplos ang mukha ko at pakiramdam ko ay bata na naman ako. "Teka nga, ikaw ba ay may kasintahan na?"

"Manang, wala!"

"At bakit wala pa! Bata ka pa lang ang dami ng nagkakandarapa sa'yo, tapos hanggang ngayon ay wala ka pa ring boyfriend? Aba! Baka naman maunahan ka pa ni Daze n'yan!"

"Hindi ho 'yon makakalusot kay Dad. At saka, si Alexander din naman walang girlfriend."

"Hayaan mo na ang kakambal mo at mahihirapan talagang makakuha 'yun. Ubod ng tahimik ba naman at iniisnab ang mga babaeng nagkakainteres sa kanya. Jusko, katulong ako nang nanay mo sa pagpapalaki sa inyo, sa pagpapalit ng diaper, pati sa pagluluto. Pati ba naman sa paghanap ng lovelife, ako pa rin ang mag-aasikaso?"

"Vous etes enneyeux." mapang-asar kong tugon.

"Ako annoying pero ikaw singol!"

I laughed so bad.

Leaving the city was the best choice I've ever made this year.

I'm a singol lady in the land of Pili.